New year, same me?

why do we perceive such a huge gap between the 31st of December and the 1st of January?
Is it that we feel the need to celebrate anything that comes with the promise of change?
That's why we celebrate birthdays isn't it?, it surely isn't because we need an excuse to dress up, go out and get totally un-sober, nope, not at all, its because each birthday comes with the acceptance of growth and extra maturity (sarcasm).
In reality the 31st and the 1st are only a second apart, nothing happens to you physically in that second just like most people don't even know the exact time they were born and therefore don't countdown till the second they turn 18. (if you do then i am a little bit jealous)

AND that my dear reader is why the "new year, new me"  facade is a banal illusion.
People unwittingly think that they will have a magical Cinderella experience in that insignificant second, in which everything will become clearer, they will know the meaning of life and look in the mirror and fall in love with themselves all over again.

The devastating truth is: things wont change freely just because you've entered a new year, but the good news is:  there is still time for change no matter what the date is.
Its all about perception, if you keep thinking that you can only better yourself once a new page has turned then you'll get caught in a repetitive cycle.

I was a new years resolutions freak, every year i would print out a pretty template, write down my list of personal improvements in neat handwriting with glittery pens and stick it on my wall, with a satisfactory smile on my face. AND every year i would take it down, scrunch it up and throw it in the bin, all while noting that there were no ticks beside any of the resolutions and promising myself that next year will be different.

For the first time this year i decided to try something different, i decided to disregard what date it was and just start to improve myself. I started in December and the difference is there is no "START" or "FINISH" line, i just began to improve things i wanted to improve. It means i'm motivated by the possibility of having a better quality of life rather than being motivated by having a better year than the one before. (one is more substantial than the other)
I want to be able to say "My life has improved and i'm happier" and not "2014 was a better year than 2015 because... blah blah blah..".

What i'm saying may be a little incoherent ,but the fundamental idea is try not to make new years resolutions in a strict manner, try to improve yourself for life not for a year.

In the past month i have written in my journal nearly every day, started a workout routine, started eating healthier and actually been ticking off things on my to do list. You could say its not going to last ,but the new year hasn't even begun and i'm already one step (or one month) ahead, my only new years resolution (for the sake of one) is to keep it all up.

Let it all be about mindset and then let the active changes follow, don't let the outcome rest on the time frame. you will achieve more if you think about the long-term effect.

Joycelyn xx HTBSx

Exposing the drafts

I've been meaning to start a blog for a while now.... Let me rephrase that I've been meaning to post on this blog for a while now.
I started this blog last year, around the time when I was still at uni. I had all these ideas in my head and i felt they needed to be written down and read by someone other than me.

I write a lot, not professionally, i just write.
It's the only way I can untie these knots in my brain. Sometimes they come out as poems/spoken word, sometimes songs and most times just words.

It usually starts with a word or a sentence, sometimes a question and I just write. My hand and my mind working in conjunction.

Someone once told me my handwriting looks like ants crawling on a piece of paper, i agree with them. very artistic ants though.

It's like they're solving a maths equation and they may not always find the answer but there's always something to be found.

A moment of realisation, understanding, hope...

It's as if once it's all written down there's more space in your head to think more clearly.

So I wrote a lot of things down and I turned some of those into blog posts.
I just never published them because I thought most of these intellectual bloggers sound like they've swallowed the dictionary and the thesaurus.
But I remembered that I wanted to start this blog to express myself and to write down what was in my head.
It doesn't matter if the grammar in my head isn't that good.

As long as I could write.

I'm going to be publishing most of my drafts. It won't all be super depressing stuff, i love fashion and makeup and music so that's what I'll be posting about.

I also have a whole blog dedicated to films and acting and tv shows and actor's and anything in that area:
wordonscene.blogspot.co.uk

Joss x